Chelsea: Season Review – Was It A Classic?

Chelsea 3-2 Birmingham

Very, very sluggish start to the season defensively, we always seemed the better team and they did score two goals from virtually nothing, just slack from us. But it kinda set the benchmark for how we were going to defend for the rest of the season.

Reading 1-2 Chelsea

Absolute w*** first half. Looked uninterested and basically s***. Jose probably bollocked them at HT and we came out and got the job done. Again though their goal was fairly bad defensively.

Liverpool 1-1 Chelsea

Fairly drab match where we didn’t offer much. I blame Ben Haim

Chelsea 1-0 Portsmouth

Frank stuck one away against Harry again and it was another ‘job done’ kinda game.

Villa 2-0 Chelsea

We were so much better up until their goal. We looked good and encouraging debuts from Alex and Belletti, I don’t think we deserved to lose but sometimes that just happens.

Chelsea 0-0 Blackburn

We were struggling for goals anyway, and a knobhead of a linesman didn’t help our cause. Perfectly legitimate goal from Kalou chalked off for being offside – when the ball was passed BACKWARDS and Kalou was behind the ball anyway. Bellend. IMO, this is what got Roman’s axe out, not Rosenborg.

Chelsea 1-1 Rosenborg

Was just one of those days where it seemed like nothing would go right. We should have won comfortably, but again, we struggled to just find the net.

Man U 2-0 Chelsea

Post Jose and it felt like it. We didn’t play too badly, punished by the ref for their goals (over time for their opener, never a penna for their second) but they probably would have won without those decisions anyway, we were there for the taking after the shock.

Hull 0-4 Chelsea

Scotty’s first senior goal for us and did well to avoid a giant killing in the state we were in. Albeit we were always expected to win…don’t mention Barnsley.

Chelsea 0-0 Fulham

Just another game highlighting our inability at the time to find the net in top flight. Fulham should have punished us as well, not sure how they didn’t score, but oh well

Valencia 1-2 Chelsea

This result turned our season around. It put us back on the map as far as I’m concerned. After conceding first, you could see us just completely imploding with the way things were going of late. But we showed massive spirit to bring it back. I like the Mestalla I do.

Bolton 0-1 Chelsea

Very, very, very important goal from Kalou. Not an easy place to go and we had to start picking up results in the Prem from here on in.

Boro 0-2 Chelsea

Again, another important result on the road thanks to a stunner from Alex and cool finish from Drog.

Chelsea 2-0 Schalke

I’ll make this completly blunt. Even though Malouda scored, he’s still complete w**k. Keeper GIFTED it to him. But in the end we deserved the result. Confirmation to me that we had our heads sorted and we were ready to get back on track and mount some sort of challenge for some silverware.

Chelsea 6-0 City

Everyone who says City were shite, do one. We MADE them look shite, for some reason, we were bang up for it, and everything we tried just worked. Immense game.

Chelsea 4-3 Leicester

Ridiculous game. Should have tied it up many many many times. Slack defending as well. But f*** it. SHEVAAAAAAAAAA to the rescue

Wigan 0-2 Chelsea

Belly showed his eye for goal again and we kept trundling along quietly in the Prem.

Schalke 0-0 Chelsea

Absolute shocker of a football match. We knew we didn’t have to win. Schalke knew a point would be good enough to still be favourites to pip Rosenberg to 2nd. Neither side wanted to lose and it showed. One to forget methinks.

Chelsea 1-1 Everton

The first of many late goals we were to concede. This one however, I don’t think we could’ve done a lot about, awesome finish from Cahill, sometimes you just have to say well in.

Derby 0-2 Chelsea

Never got out of 2nd gear, easy peasy.

Rosenberg 0-4 Chelsea

Basically, we ran riot and made them look like mugs. I think a lot of the players wanted to exorcise the ill feeling of drawing to them at home, as a lot of people think that was the reason why Jose got the boot. Either way, we hammered them, could’ve scored loads more.

Chelsea 1-0 West Ham

Hard, hard game. Eventually settled by Joey Cole, grinded 3 points, but deserved.

Chelsea 2-0 Sunderland

Again, good win and just did enough to get the 3 points. At this stage, that’s all we required and we were fairly happy to do so.

Chelsea 0-0 Valencia

Game didn’t matter to us, Valencia couldn’t breach our defence and their season went to shit after that basically.

Arsenal 1-0 Chelsea

Anyone, ANYONE but that C*** wouldn’t have been so bad. But it had to be him to pounce on a Cech error. Neither sides looked threatening from open play and we didn’t make any headways from any set plays. I’ll gladly repress this match.

Chelsea 2-0 Liverpool

Gotta love beating Liverpool, in any game. Fully deserved and just as a side note, Peter Crouch FREEEAAAKKKK

Blackburn 0-1 Chelsea

Joe Cole again popping up with a big goal to keep us going and putting his name in early for player of the year.

Chelsea 4-4 Villa

Stupid, stupid defending. Wasn’t handball for the penna in the last min, another one for the late goal conceding collection. W***.

Chelsea 2-1 Newcastle

Never offside They worked us hard and in the end we got repaid for the bad decision against Blackburn. Same guy too. SALOMANNN KALOUUUU

Fulham 1-2 Chelsea

First half was just nothing from our point of view. Fulham should have really been at us and been at least a couple up going into the break. 2nd half however we woke up and realised we’re playing a match.

Chelsea 1-0 QPR

When the goal that wins you the game is shot by Pizarro, comes off the post, hits the back of the keeper and goes in, you know that it probably wasn’t the highest quality match ever, and the less said the better really.

Chelsea 2-1 Everton

Quarter final time again, seemingly a regular occurance at the Bridge these days. Very welcome ones too. Having 10 men for quite a portion of the game, you felt we were there for the taking. But the smallest man on the planet pwned Lescott and we got a result to take to Goodison.

Wigan 1-2 Chelsea

Always in control but they nearly nicked a draw at the end thanks to Sibierski’s clever finish and Bent rattling the bar. But in the end progress was made, that was all that matters.

Chelsea 1-0 Reading

Outplayed them, but only had 1 goal to show for it from Heir Ballack. Proved enough in the end.

Portsmouth 1-1 Chelsea

Defoe just had to score, was always gonna happen. Draw was a fair result, if an inconvenient one for us.

Chelsea 0-0 Liverpool

Just couldn’t score for love nor money. One of those days when the ball refused to go into the net. Not like the next time they visited the Bridge….

Chelsea 3-1 Huddersfield

Another favourable draw in the FA Cup gladly played out in a comfortable win.

Olympiakos 0-0 Chelsea

For me, it caused no doubt in my mind that we were gonna go through. On their own patch they looked clueless on how to break us down.

Chelsea 1-2 Spurs AET

F*** s*** f***ing b******s I HATE TOTTENHAM. If Woodgate wasn’t such a tramp and cut his hair we might’ve won Rather not talk a lot more about this one except one thing – Joe Cole?

West Ham 0-4 Chelsea

BANG CRASH WALLOP, over in 30 mins. Even with Lamps being sent off we just walked it. Larvely.

Chelsea 3-0 Olympiakos

Same as the away leg, except we decided to attack. They didn’t have the quality to get anything from it. Bring on the Kezman.

Barnsley 1-0 Chelsea

Heartbreaker basically, minus JT and Joe Cole, nobody looked up for it when we could have been in with a very, very good shout of winning the FA Cup again, for me there’s nothing worse than seeing your players so unmotivated when they should be. But this seasons FA Cup seemed to have to bok over the big sides. We should’ve at least drawn, but it wasn’t meant to happen.

Chelsea 6-1 Derby

Just highlighting how much of a joke the away team are.

Sunderland 0-1 Chelsea

JTs first goal since the opening game of last season at home to City. And an important one too as it was a winner. Had to make sure we won and did, good job.

And then the game that broke our season Tottenham 4-4 Chelsea

This is what lost us the Prem. I’ve seen a ball hit someone’s back and go harmlessly away millions of times. But it dropped a fucking peach for Keane to hit. Fair play to him, it was an awesome strike. But it couldn’t have fallen any better. Suicidal from us surrendering a 3-1 lead. From here I didn’t think we’d get as close as we eventually did.

This game however, made me change my mind. Chelsea 2-1 Arsenal

From being completly blown out of the title race to being right back in it in one match. Awesome stuff from Drog and gave us the inspiration to keep on fighting.

Chelsea 1-0 Boro

Most ridiculous game I think I have ever seen. You would have thought Boro were the team with the ridiculous home record with our poor excuse of defending. How they did not score, I have no idea. But everything we needed to go right did. After that kind of luck, I thought we were destined for the title again.

Fenerbache 2-1 Chelsea

2 goals from jack s***. They did not deserve that result at all. We were so much better and controlled the game before and after their goals. Didn’t matter in the end, but showed we do switch off defensively at times.

Man City 0-2 Chelsea

Very, very good result for us again as we had no room for error in the league at a tricky venue, even if City were in their 2nd half of the season dip. Deserved one too.

Chelsea 2-0 Fenerbache

We made f***ing hard work of it and made sure we gave them every incentive to score, but we got there in the end. Just.

Chelsea 1-1 Wigan

Cue a useless pile of s*** to dent our title hopes massively after us missing a hatfull of chances. Another late goal conceded and handing the title into United’s hands.

Everton 0-1 Chelsea

Another important result, if only we kept going to the end against Wigan like we did here we could be Champions. But that’s just what we’ve lacked at crucial times this season – concentration. From here on in, it was s*** or bust.

Liverpool 1-1 Chelsea

I will never, ever, make fun of a ginger again ever. HEYYYYYYYY HEYYY RIIISEE, OHH AHHH, I WANNNA KNOWWWW HOW YOU SCORED THAT GOAL YOU F***ING LEGEND That goal has to be placed in Chelsea folklore now, along with him. We should just sign him and give him 200k a week just for that goal if we win it. F***ing PRICELESS. And to everyone who says we didn’t deserve that, suck my white ass.

Chelsea 2-1 Man U

The business end of the season had been bittersweet, but this was a massive sweet moment. Sure we gifted them a goal. But you never let a German face up to you on the firing line. They just DON’T miss. Heir Michael Ballack, you f***ing BEAUTY. Level points – it seemed do able, until you really considered the fixtures truthfully.

Chelsea 3-2 Liverpool AET

F***ING YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS amazing night, amazing game. F***ING MOSCOW BITCHES. Still buzzing from it and I don’t care. Thoroughly deserved and we’re finally there fourth time of trying to get through the semis.

Newcastle 0-2 Chelsea

Massive result to bring it to the last day. Dominated the game 2nd half and Newcastle couldn’t take their chances. Uber insult – Malouda scored.

Chelsea 1-1 Bolton

Score doesn’t reflect the game. The players obviously knew by the – I dunno if this is even a word but – unreaction of the crowd to the Wigan score and just sort of switched off late on and conceded. I was f***ing pissed that we didn’t win though. F***ing hate not winning at home. Wouldn’t have mattered, but still.

Overall, I think it’s been a classic Chelsea season in terms of pre-Roman. So close in everything, just not been able to see it through and at crucial times, shot ourselves in the foot. Moscow beckons, and lets hope that we forget pre-Roman characteristics and get JT to lift that big old trophy.



Thanks to Kez for his relentless passion (and language I spent ages editing!)




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